2004-07-10 - 11:47 a.m.
so thursday night i go out with lindsay again. we went to the crocodile lounge and i liked it. she had already had a few drinks at the bar she was at before, and we got her a few more. she has mentioned in the past that she gets very uninhibited with her speech when she gets any alcohol and two nights ago was probably no exception. ladies and gentlemen you probably know what it is that i hear from women all the time. she told me something that i have heard a lot. she said i'm too NICE. i told her that i've been told that before. what i didn't say and should have said is that that is a cop out. i hate that too nice shit. what the hell does that even mean? just because i am polite, sensitive and caring? if that's the case than too nice in my opinion is nice enough. she reiterated the idea that she doesn't want a boyfriend, a relationship, that we have very little in common. and i told her again that i am fine with that. i tried to explain again that the things we don't have in common are very negligible, its that deeper thigns we have in common that are more important. i've had this discussion with others before, and it always seems to not resonate. i'm not sure how much of the conversation i should attribute to being under the influence. but other things about her character may have come out in conversation as well. the most telling is that she advised some guy that cheating on his fiance with his exgirlfriend was actually an ok thing to do. despite the fact that i've never been cheated on, i have a profound hatred for cheaters. no one deserves that shit. with that conversation the self-preservation mental prodecures kicked themselves in. we went back to her place watched a few episodes of Coupling(which is a great show) and ended up in her bed again. not much more than last time happened, but it was prefaced with "i don't want to lead you on" "i don't want you to get the wrong idea". i replied to both of those statements that she wasn't and i didn't. i said something to the effect of "what? you think you're going to hurt me?" the implication being that is powerless to do that, and she is. when we woke up in the morning she was sick and i left to go to work. i think i'm certainly looking in other directions now, and i don't feel bad about it. a crush i've had for awhile has presented itself to me anew, i don't what she thinks. Gravetones have a show tonight. 10:00pm Underground Lounge. check it out. also another window got smashed out on my car on wednesday. they didn't steal my cds, or my stereo. they stole my city sticker. yeah, i don't get it either.
"Lay your head to rest" Fixation On Darkness- Killswitch Engage
