2005-07-24 - 7:33 p.m.
i went running today. i ran 3 miles on the hottest day in about 6 years. temps reached 105 and that's not counting the heat index. there's something about extremely hot weather that makes me want to go running. i feel very very tired now. i am going to buy a new guitar. it's about all that i can think about. besides work and lifting weights, everything else sucks. it's hot, and i'm alone all the time. i shouldn't bitch though, i rather like it. i'm never at the apartment in evanston, and i'm always driving somewhere far. i'm making some money now and that makes me feel good. i'm supposed to meet some girl tonight. she's ditched me twice already and i wouldn't mind if she did again. i wasn't going to call her after the second time but she called me and wanted to do something tonight. i might just call it all off. the heat and just life in general have made me feel quite disconnected. my dad pointed out today that waitresses were checking me out when we got dinner. i didn't even look up; i don't care. feeling this way is appropriate. i am grounded and focused. with a healthy dose of hatred for most of humanity.
rachel claims i'm trying to make her depressed. she asked me how i've been feeling lately; i just told her the truth. i don't need to be talking to her anyway.
i'm getting a new bridge put on my bass. it should help when i'm beating the shit out of it.
"It beckons me." Ghosts Of Navigators- Iron Maiden
