2005-10-21 - 5:55 p.m.
i may not be the most brilliant person in the world, but i know some things.
i know what she's doing, and it is dumb. she is intrigued by someone who gives her nothing. i am strong enough to want her, she's not strong enough to be with me. it's not my problem. so she went out with someone else. it's not like we are even anything remotely close to together. but it is yet another instance of intimacy being rejected for something less.
i saw the way she wrote about it and i know what she's feeling. i know how she reacts to feeling like that. she likes it. i think it's stupid, but she likes it. but not me. i can be what am and who i am, and still, this variable is more appealing. i've never told her directly when i'm mad at her or think she's making a mistake. maybe it's about time i did that. maybe she won't care. i see flaws in her. it's not like i never have before, but a few of them bother me more than ever before.
oh well. maybe i'll say something, maybe i won't. one thing is for sure, she has done wrong by me. she can join the club again; but she's still different than the rest of them...maybe she can be the president.
"In the basement is where I'm gonna stay. There is blood on my hands again." ?- Death From Above 1979
